I would like to apologize for causing so much worries, and also for pulling out of a competition immediately prior to actual start of skating.
At first, when I received the news at Quebec, part of me wanted to return immediately, and another part of me was wondering “Is it alright to withdraw at such inopportune timing?” I was torn, but I soon realized that I made the right decision.
All during the flight back, many things passed through my mind. Mostly, I was praying, believing that my mother would be waiting for me.
However, when I arrived at Narita Airport in Tokyo, I received a mail from my father which said “Your mother could not pull through.” I could not stop crying. Even then I held on to a slim hope and rushed back to the hospital in Nagoya. I called to my mother many times, “It’s Mao, I’m back.” However, my mother who was sleeping peacefully never opened her eyes.
I am proud of my mother who fought the disease for so long and so hard. There is also a part of me who is relieved that she is now beyond her suffering.
For past six month, her condition was such that every time I left Nagoya, I had to contend with the fact that this may be the last time to see her. I may be still in disbelief, but for some reason, now I sense that she is looking after me and close to me than ever before.
There is simply not enough words of gratitude that Mai and I could express to thank our mother for all her love which has been showered on us.
To honor her, I would like to keep a promise I made to her and to my family. I promised to strive the best I can to achieve my dream. I think this would satisfy her wishes.
It would be highly appreciated if you would continue to cheer and support my endeavor.
Mao Asada
